Get Smart: Yes! No! - No! Yes! Whatever!

I heard it said once that there is only one place in the world that you and I can go to get away from conflict and strife - the cemetery! This is so true. It seems like life has this crazy way of telling us that we will face conflict as long as we live.

Fights and quarrels are deeply rooted in our human nature. I remember watching my son when he was about three years old. We put him in the nursery at church for the first time. He immediately saw a slide on the other side of the room and ran to it. There was another little boy standing at the steps but this little boy would not go down the slide. He just stood in my son's way. My son waited patiently for a few minutes, then pushed the kid out of his way and went down the slide. Kids are crazy! One minute two children will be sitting next to each other content with their toys, the next minute one of them will be trying to take the other one's toys away, and if she doesn't get her way, she is fully ready to escalate the tug of war into a full scale war. One way we try to solve problems is to fight each other, and this isn't restricted to the nursery. It happens in the nursery, and it happens with grown ups. Two people who should not be fighting, go to quarreling. That is what happens when we depend on human effort instead of turning to God to solve our problems.

We usually react to potential conflict in these ways: win at all cost, walk away from it, pretend it doesn't exist, whine about it, keep score, pull rank, or white flag it.

In John Maxwell's book, Winning with People he says, "Conflict is like cancer: early detection increases the possibility of a healthy outcome." When we detect conflict early, we have a tendency to approach it with a better heart attitude.

When approached early, the person or issue causing us conflict does not have time to grow in our hearts and become a mountain in our lives.

James 4:1-3 "What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. And you are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel." You do not have because you do not ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures."

Remember conflict usually starts with us and wrong motives.

Philippians 2:1-6 (NLT) Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate?

Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.

Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to.

When handling conflict remember: to win never wins, to put down never lifts up, and to take your eyes off of yourself always helps your vision.

Just a thought,

Mike